Post by CyberTranz on Sept 23, 2009 19:40:01 GMT -6
1. <<<Singles Match>>> (Referee: Mr. Couto)
Heyzoos Falayfay w/Cyprus Mandora vs. Ramirez w/Galcian
Both these men and their partners battled to a TLD on Wednesday, lets see if we can get a clear winner this time around. Zoos starts it of with the drop toehold, Ramirez charges back in and another drop toehold. Zoos with a series of kicks to the thighs, Ramirez drops him now with his own drop toehold, Ramirez goes strait for the arm with the arm breaker, Zoos shakes it off and whips him into the ropes, low dropkick to Ramirez’s knees. Zoos goes from behind and school boys him over… 1… kick out! Ramirez locks in the double arm lock, Zoos gets the knee up to break it, another arm breaker by Ramirez followed by the camel clutch, Zoos quickly makes it to the ropes. Zoos now back to his feet, snap suplex on Ramirez, Zoos back on the attack on the legs with the dragon screw! Zoos looks to lock in the Flaming Flip Fixer but Ramirez is in the ropes, Ramirez whips him into the topes and follows up with the neckbreaker drop, cover… 1… 2… kick out! Ramirez bounces off the ropes and Cyprus grabs a hold of his foot and trips him down. Galcian takes acceptation and charges at Cyprus, round and round and round the ring they go, Ramirez grabs him by the mask and tries to pull him into the ring, Cyprus reaches back and pulls out some oranges, OMG! CITRUS ACID IN HIS EYES! Galcian continues to chase Cyprus into the crowd, Zoos hits the Exploder ’98, cover… 1… 2… 3!
Winner by pin fall: Heyzoos Falayfay
Time: 19:06
Audience (Strong Style): 87%
The arena lights go black. Ya'll know what that means, right? Yep. Cutsey li'l pink hearts overrun the CowanTron, and the countdown begins. At 0 (zero), we've got pyro, we've got lights, we've got music, and we've got a HUGE pop star on the entrance ramp. Mic's in hand, so let us start the fun.
[Kaori:] Cut my music!
The music cuts, and Kaori begins to walk down the ramp. Cut to a "Kaori NiGHT Asylum" poster (which is dumb, since Inferno is her show.)
[Kaori:] You know, it seems that the old saying is true; the squeaky wheel gets the grease. So, after having been the squeakiest - and cutest - damn wheel on the face of the planet, the guys that run this place have finally decided to give me my title shot for the C-CWA Women's Championship! Of course, I'm sure that they had to dope Matchbox up really good before they broke the news to her, because she knows that she doesn't have a chance in hell of beating this NiGHT... on any given day.
Kaori hops up on the apron, hooks her arms over the top rope, and enters the ring.
[Kaori:] So, tonight, the HiiiiiiiLiGHT of the NiiiiiiGHT will shine, baby! Michiko Kuroda, the faster you get down here, the faster we can get this started and done with.
2. <<<Women's Championship>>> (Referee: John Holmes)
Kaori Night vs. Michiko Kuroda(c)
Kaori finally gets the shot she thinks she so rightly deserves. She wastes little time in getting up close and personal with Michiko, spearing her down! OMFG, NiGHTberg! She mounts and wildy rains down on the champ with slaps and palm strikes, but Michiko flips her head over heels through the middle rope. Kaori rolls back in quickly but gets a stabbing knee to the shoulder blade. Michiko instinctively goes for the reverse knee cross, but Kaori rolls through into one of her own. They're still in the corner, so Michiko easily gets the ropes. Kaori goes for the ax kick but it's sidestepped, and Michiko hits a knee rush knocking the challenger back into the ropes. She stumbles forward, right into the Shawn Capture!! Kaori is able to counter out before the pressure is applied, but she looks back to she Kuroda grinning slyly and making a gesture with her thumb and forefinger as if to say she was "that close".Kaori brushes her off and demands a collar and elbow tie-up in the center of the ring. Michiko locks up and Kaori goes behind, Kuroda tries to counter into another knee cross but NiGHT blocks it and hits a one-handed bulldog instead. She contemplates the NiGHTsault, but thinks better of it at this stage in the match. She picks Michiko up in the front headlock, but gets pushed back into the corner. Michiko explodes with knees and kicks, but Kaori catches the last shoves her to the mat with a single leg takedown. She drops down into an achilles hold, but Michiko is able to elbow her way free before any substantial damage is done. They tie up again and this time Kuroda takes the advantge, dropping Kaori with a drop toe hold and applying an ankle hold. Kaori struggles to make it to the ropes, but just as she makes it to within reaching distance, Michiko drags her back to the middle. She lets out a painful groan as Michiko wrenches down sadistically. Suddenly, just as it appears she's going to tap, she rolls through the pressure and kicks Kuroda violently with her free leg. She repeats the process until she finally breaks the grip, and slides herself into a corner for a breather. Michiko continues to stalk her, but Kaori slides to the right side and takes Kuroda face-first into the middle turnbuckle with a half-sweep, half drop toe hold. She rolls her up with a school boy...1...2...kickout. Both are slowly up, Kaori is somewhat hobbled but manages to duck a high kick into another one-handed bullldog. No second guessing this time as she runs straight for the ropes, hitting the NiGHTsault, but perhaps not having the effect she'd have liked because of her bad wheel. She makes the cover nevertheless, 1...2...kickout! Kaori can't believe it and thought she had the match won...she picks Michiko up, Northern NiGHTs Suplex!! 1...2...no! Kaori glares a hole through Holmes but he doesn't give a shit because he's the fucking man. Damn straight...uhh, sorry, there I go rambling again...Kaori looks to be frustrated and hooks Michiko for a double arm whip, but Kuroda counters in mid ari with an ultra rana! Kaori no-sells and kicks out at one, but runs right into a damn stiff knee rush! BY GAWD, NiGHT's wearing the CRIMSON MASK! Kuroda scoops her up, Yukiguni Driver II!!! 1...2...Kaori kicks out! Kuroda hits the ropes, Shawn Capture-no...Kaori rolls through into one of her own! She doesn't hold it long though, standing up and dropping a series of 3 lighting quick legdrops across the back of Michiko's neck! She plays to the crowd and goes up top, POP STAR FLASH! But Kuroda got the knees up! Kaori bounces off writhing in pain, and Michiko locks in the knee cross in the middle of the ring! Kaori just got the wind knocked out of her, is losing blood, and has nowhere to go! She has to tap out!
Winner by submission: Michiko Kuroda
Time: 17:22
Audience (Strong Style): 77%
3. <<<Singles Match>>> (Referee: Jesus Kuroki)
Xavier Jacobs vs. Alexander Belmont
OMG! Its like, that Castlevania guy.. Who says C-CWA has nothing on DDT Pro? Belmont starts off going for a few spears, but Xavier skillfully avoids each. Hammer blow by Xavier, KNEEEEEE to the back. Hammer blow by Belmont now, jumping fist drop. Both men are trading blows now.. SPEAR! Hashimoto kick rush by Belmont, up top: DIVING ELBOW! He makes the cover.. 1... Only 1. Headlock/punch by Xavier, MOUNT PUNCHES TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! The ref pulls him off. TURBO DROP II BY BELMONT! Running elbow.. OOOOOH! Xavier right back up, MICHINOKU DRIVER II! 1...2.. NO! URNAGE! Full Nelson bomb! 1...2.. NO! MICHINOKU DRIVER II! 2 count. Xavier backup.. DEAAAAATH VALLLEY BOMB! Cover: 1... KICKOUT! Xavier picks him up.. Brainbuster - no! Slam to the outside. Belmont shakes it off and rolls back in.. BRAINNNBUSTAHHH! 1....2.. Foot on the ropes by Xavier! Turbo Drop II! Hell, why not another?! Ganso STF, but Xavier breaks free before it can be sinched in. A good round of about 6 spears now by Belmont.. He has Xavier in the corner.. DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Lifting Reverse DDT! ANOTHER Death Valley Bomb! Tope Atomico by Xavier now. A few lariats from Xavier, a few spears from Belmont.. Michinoku Driver II Beta on Xavier! 1..2..3.. Thank god!
Winner by pin fall: Alexander Belmont
Time: 29:36
Audience (Strong Style): 49%
"Anger Rising" breaks over the PA system, and Twinky - along with a box on wheels - makes their way to the staging area...
[Twinky:] CUT MY MUSIC! -"Anger Rising" stops- Cool. Alright, now, people have been saying things about Taped Penguin Cracking Asian, or whatever the hell else he's been calling himself lately. And, I, too, wanna say some things.
But, if I know the C-CWA audience, they wanna know... "what's in the box?" Well, let me show you.
Twinky puts aside the microphone for a minute, and pulls out a realistic looking Asian Penguin dummy, which he sets up.
[Crowd:] BOO! HISS! RANDOM CRAP LIKE THAT!
[Twinky:] What? I TOLD YOU he wasn't dead! In fact, he and I just spent the weekend hanging out and getting to know each other. SHOW THE PICTURES!
See, here, we're just hanging out at Burger Communist getting a bite to eat.
First picture shows, Twinky's eating, the AP-Dummy is face first in his food.
Yeah, he's a messy eater. Who'd've thunk? NEXT!
This picture shows the AP-Dummy with it's hand on a girl's ass at what looks to be a beach setting.
See? Check out how frisky he is! Man, that chick was PISSED! See what happened in the next picture?
We see the next picture, and the chick slaps the taste out of the dummy's mouth.
Ouch. Now, see, Whatever-This-Guy's-Name-Is and I did some bonding. Don't you have something to say to the audience?
Twinky hunches down towards the AP dummy, and puts the microphone in general direction of it's mouth, and begins making a random voice that sounds like a horrible imitation of AP...
[Twinky as AP:] Twinky, not only are you better than me; but even SPUNK'S afraid of you!
[Twinky (as himself):] Now, I'm not here to make people afraid of me. But, I think the people wanna know... what do you think of me?
[T as AP:] You're my BESTEST FWEND!
[Twinky:] Oh, you sentimental slob, you're makin' me embarrassed.
Twinky steps away from the AP dummy, before turning right around and kicking it in the face, knocking it AND the box right over the edge of the stage.
See, kids... He's dead. Dead people don't come back. 'Cept when they turned into zombies. But, that doesn't mean we need to go losing our happy thoughts!! Because, you know what happens when you lose your happy thoughts?
Twinky pauses for a second, before answering with severe, brutal honesty...
You fall out of the sky... S'true! Saw it on a cartoon once.
Twinky gives the finger to the AP dummy, and the crowd alternatively, and walks off backstage as the scene fades to black...
4. <<<Tag Match>>> (Referee: Patrick Quest)
Jay Rudawa & Juan Leche vs. Tranzfusion & Hando
Cool. *DING* Jay and Tranz start things off for both teams… they lock up in center ring, fight back and forth a bit… Jay whips Tranz down with a headlock take over… Tranz fights for a bit, then scissors Jay’s head with his legs… Jay kips out and they begin circling again… Tranz shoots in and takes Jay down with a drop toe hold… he stomps down on Jay’s leg a few times then locks in a reverse figure 4. Jay fights and makes it to the ropes for a break. They stand back up and meet in the center… Tranz nails Jay with a body slam, Jay pops right back up… Tranz hits another, Jay pops right back up again… Tranz hits another and this time Jay stays down holding his back. Tranz drags Jay over to his corner and tags in HANDO~!!!! They pick Jay up… OMG double drop kick. Hando picks him up again… KNIFE EDGE CHOP!! Jay turns around… ELBOW BY TRANZ… he turns around again… KNIFE EDGE CHOP… turns around again… ELBOW SENDS JAY ROLLING INTO HIS CORNER!! He tags in Juan. Hando charges in at Juan… Juan arm drags him to the ground… wait, Hando flips up onto to his feet and kicks Juan in the face with a reverse thrust kick. Juan staggers back a bit and Hando charges in with a low drop kick. He nails a couple of spinning leg locks then picks Juan back up. He tries a body slam, but Juan floats over and connects with a backbrain flying Kneel kick, ouch. Juan waits for Hando to stand back up… the charges in with a lightning leg lariat!!! Cover….1……2……NO!!! Juan waits for Hando to get back up again… bounces off the ropes, then runs right into a solebutt. Hando DDT’s him to the ground then nails him with a low dropkick to the back of the neck. Cover….1……2……NO!!! Hando drags Juan over to his corner and tags in Tranz. They shove Juan into the corner and begin chopping the crap out of him… they Yank him out… DOUBLE BACK DROP~!!! Cover….1……2……Jay kicks Tranz off. Tranz goes to chase after Jay… he turns around and runs into an enziguri by Juan~!! Juan crawls over and tags in Jay!! Jay comes running in and takes Tranz down with a flying knee kick… Hando runs in to help, but Jay nails him with a high kick that sends Hando rolling up… Tranz gets up… JHC!!! Cover…..1……..2……Hando makes the save!!! Jay picks Tranz back up… HIGH KEEECK RUSH… wait… Tranz catches the last kick and flips Jay head over heels… he goes to the top… FLYING GUILLOTINE DROP… No… Jay moves then low dropkicks Tranz in the back of the head! Jay starts picking Tranz up… but Tranz takes him down with a CHIN CRUSHER…. Tranz to the top… TRANZFIXING FROG SPLASH……1…….2……JUAN MAKES THE SAVE!!! Hando comes in now… the ring is a total mess!!! Hando throws Juan outside… he picks Jay up… SHOT TO THE NUTS!!! Jay bends over in pain… Tranz gets up… HIGH JUMP FACE BUSTER…. The locks in the Tranzfixer… Hando takes nails a Plancha on Juan… Jay has nowhere to go…. HE TAPS MY GOD HE TAPS!!!!
Winner by submission: Tranzfusion and Hando
Time: 24:27
Audience (Lucha Style): 86%
5. <<<Death Match Championship>>> (Referee: Mr. Couto)
Viper vs. Chapel(c)
Cage comes down and they’re ready to fight! Chapel explodes out of the gate and hits the pendulum backbreaker, Viper gets back up and Chapel begins to hammer him with the Vader hammers, Viper comes back with a couple of knife-edge chops, not enough to faze Chapel but a whip to the cage seems to do the trick, Viper applies a camel clutch, he’s now looking for him to tap, he’s looking to wear down Chapel. Viper picks him back up, double arm belly-to-belly on Chapel, quick cover… 1… 2… kick out! Chapel again comes back with the hammer blows, Alevins’ lift! Viper stumbles back up to his feet, whip to the cage! Chapel picks him up again, whip to the cage! Underneath the mask, we can tell Viper wears the crimson mask. Chapel again with the quick cover…. 1… 2… kick out! He’s looking for the piledriver now, its reversed and Viper bridges over… 1… 2… kick out! Viper picks him back up by his hair, vertical brainbuster! Chapel stumbles back to his feet, burning hammer! Cover again by Viper… 1… 2… kick out! Chapel now like a rag doll into the cages, one side to the other until he now wears the crimson mask. Viper picks him up for the Viper Bomb, connection! The cover… 1… 2… BOOM! The cage engulfs in flames, Viper’s back was scorched in the process as Chapel gets back up to his feet, DISASTERPIECE! Cover… 1… 2… 3!
Winner by pin fall: Chapel
Time: 16:23
Audience (Hardcore Style): 66%
6. <<<Non-Title>>> (Referee: John Holmes)
Twinky McLanahan vs. Sykopath
These two guys produced the match of the year in 2002, and their Collision rematch is already high in the running to repeat this year. Now it's time for part three, and the fans are going just as NUT(not a typo) as if this were a title match. They lock up in the center of the ring, Twinky’s quickly getting overpowered, so he goes behind and tries for the suplex, but that just ain’t workin’ for him. Syko elbows out and goes behind himself, looking for the End To Sanity but it’s blocked as well and Twinky counters into a victory roll, but can’t even get a one. Both men are to their feet and Syko swings for the fences with the lariat but it’s ducked, Twinky takes him down with a deep arm drag into a hammer lock. Syko works his way to his feet and counters into a hammerlock of his own, and shoves Twinky into the corner like that sternum first. He goes for it a second time but Twinky scales the ropes and flips over giving Syko a taste of his own medicine. Syko stumbles back into a reverse DDT, and Twinky quickly springs up top hitting a split-legged moonsault. 1…2…kickout. He pulls Syko to the middle and hits a big release belly to belly, running over to make a quick cover, another flat 2. Twinky sits up on his knees with his hands on his hips, glances quickly at Holmes contemplating what to do next… Suddenly his eyes light up and he reaches into one of his many, many pockets and retrives that exacto knife he used on SPUNK Wenesday. He goes to carve Syko a new hole, but he gets RED MIST in the eyes! Twinky stumbles back into the ropes, trying to wipe his eyes, Syko kicks him in the gut and plants him with the Jester’s Noose! Cover now, 1…2…kick out by Twinky! Syko whips him to the ropes, and catches him just under the chin with the Mental Illness! He lets out a yell a la Kobashi and goes up top, moonsault press! 1…2…kick out again! Syko gets him up, GRACE AND BEAUTY OF UTTER ANNIHILATION! Twinky lands on his neck, but he’s right back the fuck up! He’s like frikin’ Masato Tanaka! He spears Syko down, and now he’s BITING him! Holmes finally prys him off, but Twinky just scoops him up and plants him with the Snack Wrapper! He hooks a far leg, 1…2…kickout by Syko! He lifts Syko up for the TDD, but Syko floats over into the END OF SANITY~! 1…2…sweet mother of fuck he kicked out! What err…snackcake spirit! Syko charges in, Twinky gives him a kick to the gut, skewer DDT! He goes up top, FLIPPY F’N MOONSAULT THINGY MY GOD I’M ON ONE BIG CAFFEINE RUSH!!!!!!! 1….2….nononononoNO! Syko kicks out! END TO SANITY! KICKOUT! TRUCK DRIVER DRIVER! Neither man is making much movement…Twinky drapes the arm across his chest, 1…2…NO!! Twinky reaches into yet another pocket and lunges at Syko with a death blow, Syko catches his arms and wraps it around his body, a SHEER DROP END TO SANITY!!! That’ll rearrange some fucking vertebrae! 1…2…3! OVAH~!
Winner by pin fall: Sykopath
Time: 16:22
Audience (Strong Style): 91%
7. <<<Tag Match>>> (Referee: Jesus Kuroki)
Team Violence vs. Dante Black & Ross Cowan
Dante and Lee start off, leg sweep by Lee! He goes for another.. Dante catches it, dragon screw. Snap brainbuster on Dante. Firemans carry on Lee.. Lee from behind, KANGAROO KICK! Dante going to work on the knee now. He has Lee on the ground.. DROPKICK TO THE HEAD.. Lee gets up and hits a snap brainbuster, and makes the tag to Prod. Dante tags in Cowan.. TENKOJI CUTTER ON LEE! All hell is breaking loose now, Cowan with a Figure 4 on Lee! Prodigy breaks it up.. He picks up Cowan, knee lock by Cowan! He kicks him off. Cowan goes for a Norhtern Lights.. DDT by Prodigy! Cowan back up, slams Prodigy down.. Knee cross on Prod! He makes it to the ropes. Brainbuster by Cowan? No, reversed, sending him to the outside.. Cowan back in.. MONGOLIAN CHOP ON COWAN! 1 Count only. He whips Cowan, Cowan reverses.. NECKBREAKER! He whips Prod now.. Belly to Belly! Prodigy back up.. CLAW! CLAW! Dante is in now to make the save. Brainbuster on Prod! Cowan up top.. mOOOONSAULT! 1......2..... Lee makes the save. Its a clusterfuck now folks.. Dragon Suplex on Prodigy! 1....2... Lee with the save. Cowan makes the tag to Dante now.. Cowan Plex on Prodigy, moonsault pin by Dante..1...2... Lee breaks it. Prodigy is up, and he has the fork! He is stabbing away. Dante is able to break free. Blockbuster hold..1....2.. NO! Dragon Suplex on Prod.. He folds up.. Knee to the back! Cradle Piledriver.. He slides to the apron, as Prodigy gets up.. Springobard dropkick! SHARPPPPSHOOOOOOOTAH!! Lee breaks it! BLACKKKKKKKOUT! 1.........2.......... NO! NO! NO! Lee with a enzuiguri on Dante! Prodigy with a backflip! He has the fork out again! Dante breaks out and rolls to the outside.. Prodigy follows him out there.. Dante is waiting.. BLACKOUT ON THE OUTSIDE!! He lets go.. Calling for the end.. HOLY SHIT ANOTHER!!!! Dante rolls back in.. 16....17.......18.... Prodigy is up! 19...... Twen - NO! HE IS BACK IN! Dante grabs him from behind, switch by Prod.. RELEASE GERMAN! He picks him up from behind again.. Kangaroo kick! Dante charges at him.. Prodigy catches him and tosses him up on his shoulders! DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Dante right back up.. BRAINBUSTER!! He falls to the outside.. Cowan is out there to greet him. Backflip on Cowan!! He comes back in.. Death Valley Bomb on Dante! Cowan rolls into the ring now.. COWAN SPECIAL ON PRODIGY!! HIS NECK HAS TO BE JELLO RIGHT NOW! Lee comes in now.. Cowan is holding him off.. BLACKOUT! 1....2.....3. This one, is over.
Winner by pin fall: Dante Black
Time: 35:47
Audience (Strong Style): 86%
8. <<<Non-Title>>> (Referee: Patrick Quest)
SPUNK vs. Catalyst
The bell rings and the two begin beating the crap out of eachother. Palms, elbows, mid kicks, body blows… you name it, these guys are doing it. They continue on for like 2 minutes before Cat catches one of Spunk’s kicks and takes him down with a dragon screw… he goes to follow up with a spinning leg lock, but Spunk kicks him in the head from the ground and Cat falls over slowly. Spunk gets up and nkee stamps Cat’s knee a few times. Cat uses the ropes to get back up… Spunk shoves him in the corner and begins kneeing him to death… Cat sags down in the corner and Spunk knees him a few more times RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! Spunk drags Cat to center ring and locks in the dreaded HALF CRAB!!!! He manages to claw his way over to the rope for a break! Spunk starts picking Cat up… shot to the gut… another… he spins behind spunk… BIODYNAMIC… no… blocked… Cat punches spunk in the kidney and tries again… blocked and Spunk backs him up into the corner. He stomps Cat down… OMG FACE WASH~!!! Spunk bounces off the ropes and nails the final one… he drags Cat out, Cover…..1………2……..NO!!!! Spunk picks Cat up and goes behind, back drop… no… Cat spins around and takes Spunk over with a Northern lights Suplex…….1……..2……..NO!!!! Cat walks over to Spunk’s legs… he nails a couple spinning leg locks, then locks in the OMG ANKLE LOCK~!!!! Spunk fights his way over to the ropes but Catalyst drags him back to the center… Spunk tries again… again he’s dragged back… he tries one more time and gets the rope for a break!!! Cat picks Spunk up… he calls for the TINGLING DDT!!! He locks it in… NO! Spunk picks him up and slams him downwith a spine buster!!! He grabs Cat’s ankle and spins him over… OMG STF!!!! Cat claws his way over to the ropes… he cannot quite reach it… he tries…. HE GETS IT!!!! Spunk picks him back up… FUCKING POWERBOMB…..1……..2…….NO!!!! Spunk picks Cat up again… he goes for a JHK… CONNECTED… cover……1………2………NO!!!!! Spunk says OVA!!! He bounces off the ropes and runs in with a TAKAYAMA STABBING KNEE… no… Cat moves… Spunk bounces back and runs right into a back spinning kick!!!! Cat locks the Ankle lock back in!!!! Spunk is in center ring…. He has nowhere to go… he….he….he claws his way over to get a break!!!! Cat picks him up… FINEEEESH!!! He grabs Spunk from behind… BIODYNAM…. NO!!! Spunk elbows him in the face… spins behind…. OMFG SICK ASS BACKDROP!!! Spunk picks Cat back up… JHK… NO! Cat counters with a nose shattering Palm blow!!! Blood begins to poor off of Spunk’s face onto the floor!!! Cat thinks he has this thing won now… he goes for the SCORCHING LEFT…. WHAM!!! Wait.. what??? Spunk coaught his hand!!! He whips Cat around… ANOTHER SICK ASS BACKDROP!!!! Cover…..1…….2…….NO!!!!!! Spunk picks Cat up… back grab… OMG VERTICAL GERMAN………..1………..2……….3!!! NO!!! NOT 3!!!! Quest is waving as only 2!!! Spunk goes over to argue with Quest… Cat with a school boy…….1………..2………..NO!!!!! Spunk flops over out of exhaust as does Catalyst. Quest begins the 10 count… neither one appears to be able to get up…. They begin fighting to their feet at about 5… the run at eachother…. ELBOW PAT… PALM BLOW…. ELBOW PAT… PALM BLOW…. ELBOW PAT… BLOCKED!!! Cat connects with another Palm Blow…. He hooks Spunk up for a Fisherman Suplex…. TINGLING DDT!!!!!!!!! Cover…..1…………2………..3!!! NO!!!! 2.999999!!!!! Catalyst looks desperate… He waits for Spunk to get up… he charges in… SHOTEI!!!! NO… Spunk catches him in mid move and slams him down with an STO!!!!!! Spunk locks in an STF!!!! Catalyst is screwed… he’s in dead center ring…. He has no ropes to grab onto… he begins his fight towards the ropes… he… he makes it!!!! Spunk picks Catalyst up… POWERBOMB……1………2……..NO!!!! He says it’s over… he begins picking Catalyst up… OMG SCORCHING LEFT!!!! This can only mean one thing…. Catalyst spins behind… BIODYNAMIC BACK DROP!!!! HOLY F’N SHIT!!!! Catalyst crawls over……1………2……….NO!!!!!!! HOW IN DA HELL??? Catalyst begins picking Spunk up… Spunk charges forward and shoves Cat into the corner!!! How is he doing this??? He sets Cat up top… OMG… MUSCLE BUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cover……1……….2………..NO!!!!!!!!!! How are they kicking out of these moves???? The crowd is going nuts!!! Spunk calls for the FINEEEEEEEESH!!! He picks Cat up for the STD… NO!!! CAT WIGGLES FREE… He grabs Spunk…. BIODYNAMIC DROP!!!!!!!!!!!! How can one man take 2 of those…. Cat walks over… OMG ANKLE LOCK!!!! Spunk is nearly out cold…. Quest goes over to check if he is ok… he raises his arm…. SPUNK KEEPS IT UP!!! He crawls over to the ropes…. Cat drags him back…. Wait… SPUNK ROLLS THREW INTO A REVERSE KNEEL LOCK!!!!! Now Cat is the one is Hellish pain…. He tries crawling over to the ropes…. Spunk stands up… pulls him back… Stands up with Cats leg and shoots forward into an STF!!!! Cat cannot take much more…. He…. He…. HE GETS TO THE ROPES AGAIN!!!! How the hell??? Spunk knows it’s over this time… he picks Cat up for the STD…. Again he wiggles free!!! He shoves Spunk over into the corner stomach first!!! He sets him up top…. Not this again…. TOP ROPE BIODYNAMIC DROP!!!! NO!!! Spunk elbows Cat in the face a few times… he turns around on the top turbuckle… both men are standing face to face… elbows back and forth… SPUNK BLOCKS A CATALYST ELBOW…. He picks him up… TOP ROPE FUCKING STD!!!!!!!!!! Cover………1………..2………..3!!!!!
Winner by pin fall: SPUNK
Time: 28:14
Audience (King’s Road Style): 87%
[Fade]
Heyzoos Falayfay w/Cyprus Mandora vs. Ramirez w/Galcian
Both these men and their partners battled to a TLD on Wednesday, lets see if we can get a clear winner this time around. Zoos starts it of with the drop toehold, Ramirez charges back in and another drop toehold. Zoos with a series of kicks to the thighs, Ramirez drops him now with his own drop toehold, Ramirez goes strait for the arm with the arm breaker, Zoos shakes it off and whips him into the ropes, low dropkick to Ramirez’s knees. Zoos goes from behind and school boys him over… 1… kick out! Ramirez locks in the double arm lock, Zoos gets the knee up to break it, another arm breaker by Ramirez followed by the camel clutch, Zoos quickly makes it to the ropes. Zoos now back to his feet, snap suplex on Ramirez, Zoos back on the attack on the legs with the dragon screw! Zoos looks to lock in the Flaming Flip Fixer but Ramirez is in the ropes, Ramirez whips him into the topes and follows up with the neckbreaker drop, cover… 1… 2… kick out! Ramirez bounces off the ropes and Cyprus grabs a hold of his foot and trips him down. Galcian takes acceptation and charges at Cyprus, round and round and round the ring they go, Ramirez grabs him by the mask and tries to pull him into the ring, Cyprus reaches back and pulls out some oranges, OMG! CITRUS ACID IN HIS EYES! Galcian continues to chase Cyprus into the crowd, Zoos hits the Exploder ’98, cover… 1… 2… 3!
Winner by pin fall: Heyzoos Falayfay
Time: 19:06
Audience (Strong Style): 87%
The arena lights go black. Ya'll know what that means, right? Yep. Cutsey li'l pink hearts overrun the CowanTron, and the countdown begins. At 0 (zero), we've got pyro, we've got lights, we've got music, and we've got a HUGE pop star on the entrance ramp. Mic's in hand, so let us start the fun.
[Kaori:] Cut my music!
The music cuts, and Kaori begins to walk down the ramp. Cut to a "Kaori NiGHT Asylum" poster (which is dumb, since Inferno is her show.)
[Kaori:] You know, it seems that the old saying is true; the squeaky wheel gets the grease. So, after having been the squeakiest - and cutest - damn wheel on the face of the planet, the guys that run this place have finally decided to give me my title shot for the C-CWA Women's Championship! Of course, I'm sure that they had to dope Matchbox up really good before they broke the news to her, because she knows that she doesn't have a chance in hell of beating this NiGHT... on any given day.
Kaori hops up on the apron, hooks her arms over the top rope, and enters the ring.
[Kaori:] So, tonight, the HiiiiiiiLiGHT of the NiiiiiiGHT will shine, baby! Michiko Kuroda, the faster you get down here, the faster we can get this started and done with.
2. <<<Women's Championship>>> (Referee: John Holmes)
Kaori Night vs. Michiko Kuroda(c)
Kaori finally gets the shot she thinks she so rightly deserves. She wastes little time in getting up close and personal with Michiko, spearing her down! OMFG, NiGHTberg! She mounts and wildy rains down on the champ with slaps and palm strikes, but Michiko flips her head over heels through the middle rope. Kaori rolls back in quickly but gets a stabbing knee to the shoulder blade. Michiko instinctively goes for the reverse knee cross, but Kaori rolls through into one of her own. They're still in the corner, so Michiko easily gets the ropes. Kaori goes for the ax kick but it's sidestepped, and Michiko hits a knee rush knocking the challenger back into the ropes. She stumbles forward, right into the Shawn Capture!! Kaori is able to counter out before the pressure is applied, but she looks back to she Kuroda grinning slyly and making a gesture with her thumb and forefinger as if to say she was "that close".Kaori brushes her off and demands a collar and elbow tie-up in the center of the ring. Michiko locks up and Kaori goes behind, Kuroda tries to counter into another knee cross but NiGHT blocks it and hits a one-handed bulldog instead. She contemplates the NiGHTsault, but thinks better of it at this stage in the match. She picks Michiko up in the front headlock, but gets pushed back into the corner. Michiko explodes with knees and kicks, but Kaori catches the last shoves her to the mat with a single leg takedown. She drops down into an achilles hold, but Michiko is able to elbow her way free before any substantial damage is done. They tie up again and this time Kuroda takes the advantge, dropping Kaori with a drop toe hold and applying an ankle hold. Kaori struggles to make it to the ropes, but just as she makes it to within reaching distance, Michiko drags her back to the middle. She lets out a painful groan as Michiko wrenches down sadistically. Suddenly, just as it appears she's going to tap, she rolls through the pressure and kicks Kuroda violently with her free leg. She repeats the process until she finally breaks the grip, and slides herself into a corner for a breather. Michiko continues to stalk her, but Kaori slides to the right side and takes Kuroda face-first into the middle turnbuckle with a half-sweep, half drop toe hold. She rolls her up with a school boy...1...2...kickout. Both are slowly up, Kaori is somewhat hobbled but manages to duck a high kick into another one-handed bullldog. No second guessing this time as she runs straight for the ropes, hitting the NiGHTsault, but perhaps not having the effect she'd have liked because of her bad wheel. She makes the cover nevertheless, 1...2...kickout! Kaori can't believe it and thought she had the match won...she picks Michiko up, Northern NiGHTs Suplex!! 1...2...no! Kaori glares a hole through Holmes but he doesn't give a shit because he's the fucking man. Damn straight...uhh, sorry, there I go rambling again...Kaori looks to be frustrated and hooks Michiko for a double arm whip, but Kuroda counters in mid ari with an ultra rana! Kaori no-sells and kicks out at one, but runs right into a damn stiff knee rush! BY GAWD, NiGHT's wearing the CRIMSON MASK! Kuroda scoops her up, Yukiguni Driver II!!! 1...2...Kaori kicks out! Kuroda hits the ropes, Shawn Capture-no...Kaori rolls through into one of her own! She doesn't hold it long though, standing up and dropping a series of 3 lighting quick legdrops across the back of Michiko's neck! She plays to the crowd and goes up top, POP STAR FLASH! But Kuroda got the knees up! Kaori bounces off writhing in pain, and Michiko locks in the knee cross in the middle of the ring! Kaori just got the wind knocked out of her, is losing blood, and has nowhere to go! She has to tap out!
Winner by submission: Michiko Kuroda
Time: 17:22
Audience (Strong Style): 77%
3. <<<Singles Match>>> (Referee: Jesus Kuroki)
Xavier Jacobs vs. Alexander Belmont
OMG! Its like, that Castlevania guy.. Who says C-CWA has nothing on DDT Pro? Belmont starts off going for a few spears, but Xavier skillfully avoids each. Hammer blow by Xavier, KNEEEEEE to the back. Hammer blow by Belmont now, jumping fist drop. Both men are trading blows now.. SPEAR! Hashimoto kick rush by Belmont, up top: DIVING ELBOW! He makes the cover.. 1... Only 1. Headlock/punch by Xavier, MOUNT PUNCHES TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! The ref pulls him off. TURBO DROP II BY BELMONT! Running elbow.. OOOOOH! Xavier right back up, MICHINOKU DRIVER II! 1...2.. NO! URNAGE! Full Nelson bomb! 1...2.. NO! MICHINOKU DRIVER II! 2 count. Xavier backup.. DEAAAAATH VALLLEY BOMB! Cover: 1... KICKOUT! Xavier picks him up.. Brainbuster - no! Slam to the outside. Belmont shakes it off and rolls back in.. BRAINNNBUSTAHHH! 1....2.. Foot on the ropes by Xavier! Turbo Drop II! Hell, why not another?! Ganso STF, but Xavier breaks free before it can be sinched in. A good round of about 6 spears now by Belmont.. He has Xavier in the corner.. DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Lifting Reverse DDT! ANOTHER Death Valley Bomb! Tope Atomico by Xavier now. A few lariats from Xavier, a few spears from Belmont.. Michinoku Driver II Beta on Xavier! 1..2..3.. Thank god!
Winner by pin fall: Alexander Belmont
Time: 29:36
Audience (Strong Style): 49%
"Anger Rising" breaks over the PA system, and Twinky - along with a box on wheels - makes their way to the staging area...
[Twinky:] CUT MY MUSIC! -"Anger Rising" stops- Cool. Alright, now, people have been saying things about Taped Penguin Cracking Asian, or whatever the hell else he's been calling himself lately. And, I, too, wanna say some things.
But, if I know the C-CWA audience, they wanna know... "what's in the box?" Well, let me show you.
Twinky puts aside the microphone for a minute, and pulls out a realistic looking Asian Penguin dummy, which he sets up.
[Crowd:] BOO! HISS! RANDOM CRAP LIKE THAT!
[Twinky:] What? I TOLD YOU he wasn't dead! In fact, he and I just spent the weekend hanging out and getting to know each other. SHOW THE PICTURES!
See, here, we're just hanging out at Burger Communist getting a bite to eat.
First picture shows, Twinky's eating, the AP-Dummy is face first in his food.
Yeah, he's a messy eater. Who'd've thunk? NEXT!
This picture shows the AP-Dummy with it's hand on a girl's ass at what looks to be a beach setting.
See? Check out how frisky he is! Man, that chick was PISSED! See what happened in the next picture?
We see the next picture, and the chick slaps the taste out of the dummy's mouth.
Ouch. Now, see, Whatever-This-Guy's-Name-Is and I did some bonding. Don't you have something to say to the audience?
Twinky hunches down towards the AP dummy, and puts the microphone in general direction of it's mouth, and begins making a random voice that sounds like a horrible imitation of AP...
[Twinky as AP:] Twinky, not only are you better than me; but even SPUNK'S afraid of you!
[Twinky (as himself):] Now, I'm not here to make people afraid of me. But, I think the people wanna know... what do you think of me?
[T as AP:] You're my BESTEST FWEND!
[Twinky:] Oh, you sentimental slob, you're makin' me embarrassed.
Twinky steps away from the AP dummy, before turning right around and kicking it in the face, knocking it AND the box right over the edge of the stage.
See, kids... He's dead. Dead people don't come back. 'Cept when they turned into zombies. But, that doesn't mean we need to go losing our happy thoughts!! Because, you know what happens when you lose your happy thoughts?
Twinky pauses for a second, before answering with severe, brutal honesty...
You fall out of the sky... S'true! Saw it on a cartoon once.
Twinky gives the finger to the AP dummy, and the crowd alternatively, and walks off backstage as the scene fades to black...
4. <<<Tag Match>>> (Referee: Patrick Quest)
Jay Rudawa & Juan Leche vs. Tranzfusion & Hando
Cool. *DING* Jay and Tranz start things off for both teams… they lock up in center ring, fight back and forth a bit… Jay whips Tranz down with a headlock take over… Tranz fights for a bit, then scissors Jay’s head with his legs… Jay kips out and they begin circling again… Tranz shoots in and takes Jay down with a drop toe hold… he stomps down on Jay’s leg a few times then locks in a reverse figure 4. Jay fights and makes it to the ropes for a break. They stand back up and meet in the center… Tranz nails Jay with a body slam, Jay pops right back up… Tranz hits another, Jay pops right back up again… Tranz hits another and this time Jay stays down holding his back. Tranz drags Jay over to his corner and tags in HANDO~!!!! They pick Jay up… OMG double drop kick. Hando picks him up again… KNIFE EDGE CHOP!! Jay turns around… ELBOW BY TRANZ… he turns around again… KNIFE EDGE CHOP… turns around again… ELBOW SENDS JAY ROLLING INTO HIS CORNER!! He tags in Juan. Hando charges in at Juan… Juan arm drags him to the ground… wait, Hando flips up onto to his feet and kicks Juan in the face with a reverse thrust kick. Juan staggers back a bit and Hando charges in with a low drop kick. He nails a couple of spinning leg locks then picks Juan back up. He tries a body slam, but Juan floats over and connects with a backbrain flying Kneel kick, ouch. Juan waits for Hando to stand back up… the charges in with a lightning leg lariat!!! Cover….1……2……NO!!! Juan waits for Hando to get back up again… bounces off the ropes, then runs right into a solebutt. Hando DDT’s him to the ground then nails him with a low dropkick to the back of the neck. Cover….1……2……NO!!! Hando drags Juan over to his corner and tags in Tranz. They shove Juan into the corner and begin chopping the crap out of him… they Yank him out… DOUBLE BACK DROP~!!! Cover….1……2……Jay kicks Tranz off. Tranz goes to chase after Jay… he turns around and runs into an enziguri by Juan~!! Juan crawls over and tags in Jay!! Jay comes running in and takes Tranz down with a flying knee kick… Hando runs in to help, but Jay nails him with a high kick that sends Hando rolling up… Tranz gets up… JHC!!! Cover…..1……..2……Hando makes the save!!! Jay picks Tranz back up… HIGH KEEECK RUSH… wait… Tranz catches the last kick and flips Jay head over heels… he goes to the top… FLYING GUILLOTINE DROP… No… Jay moves then low dropkicks Tranz in the back of the head! Jay starts picking Tranz up… but Tranz takes him down with a CHIN CRUSHER…. Tranz to the top… TRANZFIXING FROG SPLASH……1…….2……JUAN MAKES THE SAVE!!! Hando comes in now… the ring is a total mess!!! Hando throws Juan outside… he picks Jay up… SHOT TO THE NUTS!!! Jay bends over in pain… Tranz gets up… HIGH JUMP FACE BUSTER…. The locks in the Tranzfixer… Hando takes nails a Plancha on Juan… Jay has nowhere to go…. HE TAPS MY GOD HE TAPS!!!!
Winner by submission: Tranzfusion and Hando
Time: 24:27
Audience (Lucha Style): 86%
5. <<<Death Match Championship>>> (Referee: Mr. Couto)
Viper vs. Chapel(c)
Cage comes down and they’re ready to fight! Chapel explodes out of the gate and hits the pendulum backbreaker, Viper gets back up and Chapel begins to hammer him with the Vader hammers, Viper comes back with a couple of knife-edge chops, not enough to faze Chapel but a whip to the cage seems to do the trick, Viper applies a camel clutch, he’s now looking for him to tap, he’s looking to wear down Chapel. Viper picks him back up, double arm belly-to-belly on Chapel, quick cover… 1… 2… kick out! Chapel again comes back with the hammer blows, Alevins’ lift! Viper stumbles back up to his feet, whip to the cage! Chapel picks him up again, whip to the cage! Underneath the mask, we can tell Viper wears the crimson mask. Chapel again with the quick cover…. 1… 2… kick out! He’s looking for the piledriver now, its reversed and Viper bridges over… 1… 2… kick out! Viper picks him back up by his hair, vertical brainbuster! Chapel stumbles back to his feet, burning hammer! Cover again by Viper… 1… 2… kick out! Chapel now like a rag doll into the cages, one side to the other until he now wears the crimson mask. Viper picks him up for the Viper Bomb, connection! The cover… 1… 2… BOOM! The cage engulfs in flames, Viper’s back was scorched in the process as Chapel gets back up to his feet, DISASTERPIECE! Cover… 1… 2… 3!
Winner by pin fall: Chapel
Time: 16:23
Audience (Hardcore Style): 66%
6. <<<Non-Title>>> (Referee: John Holmes)
Twinky McLanahan vs. Sykopath
These two guys produced the match of the year in 2002, and their Collision rematch is already high in the running to repeat this year. Now it's time for part three, and the fans are going just as NUT(not a typo) as if this were a title match. They lock up in the center of the ring, Twinky’s quickly getting overpowered, so he goes behind and tries for the suplex, but that just ain’t workin’ for him. Syko elbows out and goes behind himself, looking for the End To Sanity but it’s blocked as well and Twinky counters into a victory roll, but can’t even get a one. Both men are to their feet and Syko swings for the fences with the lariat but it’s ducked, Twinky takes him down with a deep arm drag into a hammer lock. Syko works his way to his feet and counters into a hammerlock of his own, and shoves Twinky into the corner like that sternum first. He goes for it a second time but Twinky scales the ropes and flips over giving Syko a taste of his own medicine. Syko stumbles back into a reverse DDT, and Twinky quickly springs up top hitting a split-legged moonsault. 1…2…kickout. He pulls Syko to the middle and hits a big release belly to belly, running over to make a quick cover, another flat 2. Twinky sits up on his knees with his hands on his hips, glances quickly at Holmes contemplating what to do next… Suddenly his eyes light up and he reaches into one of his many, many pockets and retrives that exacto knife he used on SPUNK Wenesday. He goes to carve Syko a new hole, but he gets RED MIST in the eyes! Twinky stumbles back into the ropes, trying to wipe his eyes, Syko kicks him in the gut and plants him with the Jester’s Noose! Cover now, 1…2…kick out by Twinky! Syko whips him to the ropes, and catches him just under the chin with the Mental Illness! He lets out a yell a la Kobashi and goes up top, moonsault press! 1…2…kick out again! Syko gets him up, GRACE AND BEAUTY OF UTTER ANNIHILATION! Twinky lands on his neck, but he’s right back the fuck up! He’s like frikin’ Masato Tanaka! He spears Syko down, and now he’s BITING him! Holmes finally prys him off, but Twinky just scoops him up and plants him with the Snack Wrapper! He hooks a far leg, 1…2…kickout by Syko! He lifts Syko up for the TDD, but Syko floats over into the END OF SANITY~! 1…2…sweet mother of fuck he kicked out! What err…snackcake spirit! Syko charges in, Twinky gives him a kick to the gut, skewer DDT! He goes up top, FLIPPY F’N MOONSAULT THINGY MY GOD I’M ON ONE BIG CAFFEINE RUSH!!!!!!! 1….2….nononononoNO! Syko kicks out! END TO SANITY! KICKOUT! TRUCK DRIVER DRIVER! Neither man is making much movement…Twinky drapes the arm across his chest, 1…2…NO!! Twinky reaches into yet another pocket and lunges at Syko with a death blow, Syko catches his arms and wraps it around his body, a SHEER DROP END TO SANITY!!! That’ll rearrange some fucking vertebrae! 1…2…3! OVAH~!
Winner by pin fall: Sykopath
Time: 16:22
Audience (Strong Style): 91%
7. <<<Tag Match>>> (Referee: Jesus Kuroki)
Team Violence vs. Dante Black & Ross Cowan
Dante and Lee start off, leg sweep by Lee! He goes for another.. Dante catches it, dragon screw. Snap brainbuster on Dante. Firemans carry on Lee.. Lee from behind, KANGAROO KICK! Dante going to work on the knee now. He has Lee on the ground.. DROPKICK TO THE HEAD.. Lee gets up and hits a snap brainbuster, and makes the tag to Prod. Dante tags in Cowan.. TENKOJI CUTTER ON LEE! All hell is breaking loose now, Cowan with a Figure 4 on Lee! Prodigy breaks it up.. He picks up Cowan, knee lock by Cowan! He kicks him off. Cowan goes for a Norhtern Lights.. DDT by Prodigy! Cowan back up, slams Prodigy down.. Knee cross on Prod! He makes it to the ropes. Brainbuster by Cowan? No, reversed, sending him to the outside.. Cowan back in.. MONGOLIAN CHOP ON COWAN! 1 Count only. He whips Cowan, Cowan reverses.. NECKBREAKER! He whips Prod now.. Belly to Belly! Prodigy back up.. CLAW! CLAW! Dante is in now to make the save. Brainbuster on Prod! Cowan up top.. mOOOONSAULT! 1......2..... Lee makes the save. Its a clusterfuck now folks.. Dragon Suplex on Prodigy! 1....2... Lee with the save. Cowan makes the tag to Dante now.. Cowan Plex on Prodigy, moonsault pin by Dante..1...2... Lee breaks it. Prodigy is up, and he has the fork! He is stabbing away. Dante is able to break free. Blockbuster hold..1....2.. NO! Dragon Suplex on Prod.. He folds up.. Knee to the back! Cradle Piledriver.. He slides to the apron, as Prodigy gets up.. Springobard dropkick! SHARPPPPSHOOOOOOOTAH!! Lee breaks it! BLACKKKKKKKOUT! 1.........2.......... NO! NO! NO! Lee with a enzuiguri on Dante! Prodigy with a backflip! He has the fork out again! Dante breaks out and rolls to the outside.. Prodigy follows him out there.. Dante is waiting.. BLACKOUT ON THE OUTSIDE!! He lets go.. Calling for the end.. HOLY SHIT ANOTHER!!!! Dante rolls back in.. 16....17.......18.... Prodigy is up! 19...... Twen - NO! HE IS BACK IN! Dante grabs him from behind, switch by Prod.. RELEASE GERMAN! He picks him up from behind again.. Kangaroo kick! Dante charges at him.. Prodigy catches him and tosses him up on his shoulders! DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Dante right back up.. BRAINBUSTER!! He falls to the outside.. Cowan is out there to greet him. Backflip on Cowan!! He comes back in.. Death Valley Bomb on Dante! Cowan rolls into the ring now.. COWAN SPECIAL ON PRODIGY!! HIS NECK HAS TO BE JELLO RIGHT NOW! Lee comes in now.. Cowan is holding him off.. BLACKOUT! 1....2.....3. This one, is over.
Winner by pin fall: Dante Black
Time: 35:47
Audience (Strong Style): 86%
8. <<<Non-Title>>> (Referee: Patrick Quest)
SPUNK vs. Catalyst
The bell rings and the two begin beating the crap out of eachother. Palms, elbows, mid kicks, body blows… you name it, these guys are doing it. They continue on for like 2 minutes before Cat catches one of Spunk’s kicks and takes him down with a dragon screw… he goes to follow up with a spinning leg lock, but Spunk kicks him in the head from the ground and Cat falls over slowly. Spunk gets up and nkee stamps Cat’s knee a few times. Cat uses the ropes to get back up… Spunk shoves him in the corner and begins kneeing him to death… Cat sags down in the corner and Spunk knees him a few more times RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! Spunk drags Cat to center ring and locks in the dreaded HALF CRAB!!!! He manages to claw his way over to the rope for a break! Spunk starts picking Cat up… shot to the gut… another… he spins behind spunk… BIODYNAMIC… no… blocked… Cat punches spunk in the kidney and tries again… blocked and Spunk backs him up into the corner. He stomps Cat down… OMG FACE WASH~!!! Spunk bounces off the ropes and nails the final one… he drags Cat out, Cover…..1………2……..NO!!!! Spunk picks Cat up and goes behind, back drop… no… Cat spins around and takes Spunk over with a Northern lights Suplex…….1……..2……..NO!!!! Cat walks over to Spunk’s legs… he nails a couple spinning leg locks, then locks in the OMG ANKLE LOCK~!!!! Spunk fights his way over to the ropes but Catalyst drags him back to the center… Spunk tries again… again he’s dragged back… he tries one more time and gets the rope for a break!!! Cat picks Spunk up… he calls for the TINGLING DDT!!! He locks it in… NO! Spunk picks him up and slams him downwith a spine buster!!! He grabs Cat’s ankle and spins him over… OMG STF!!!! Cat claws his way over to the ropes… he cannot quite reach it… he tries…. HE GETS IT!!!! Spunk picks him back up… FUCKING POWERBOMB…..1……..2…….NO!!!! Spunk picks Cat up again… he goes for a JHK… CONNECTED… cover……1………2………NO!!!!! Spunk says OVA!!! He bounces off the ropes and runs in with a TAKAYAMA STABBING KNEE… no… Cat moves… Spunk bounces back and runs right into a back spinning kick!!!! Cat locks the Ankle lock back in!!!! Spunk is in center ring…. He has nowhere to go… he….he….he claws his way over to get a break!!!! Cat picks him up… FINEEEESH!!! He grabs Spunk from behind… BIODYNAM…. NO!!! Spunk elbows him in the face… spins behind…. OMFG SICK ASS BACKDROP!!! Spunk picks Cat back up… JHK… NO! Cat counters with a nose shattering Palm blow!!! Blood begins to poor off of Spunk’s face onto the floor!!! Cat thinks he has this thing won now… he goes for the SCORCHING LEFT…. WHAM!!! Wait.. what??? Spunk coaught his hand!!! He whips Cat around… ANOTHER SICK ASS BACKDROP!!!! Cover…..1…….2…….NO!!!!!! Spunk picks Cat up… back grab… OMG VERTICAL GERMAN………..1………..2……….3!!! NO!!! NOT 3!!!! Quest is waving as only 2!!! Spunk goes over to argue with Quest… Cat with a school boy…….1………..2………..NO!!!!! Spunk flops over out of exhaust as does Catalyst. Quest begins the 10 count… neither one appears to be able to get up…. They begin fighting to their feet at about 5… the run at eachother…. ELBOW PAT… PALM BLOW…. ELBOW PAT… PALM BLOW…. ELBOW PAT… BLOCKED!!! Cat connects with another Palm Blow…. He hooks Spunk up for a Fisherman Suplex…. TINGLING DDT!!!!!!!!! Cover…..1…………2………..3!!! NO!!!! 2.999999!!!!! Catalyst looks desperate… He waits for Spunk to get up… he charges in… SHOTEI!!!! NO… Spunk catches him in mid move and slams him down with an STO!!!!!! Spunk locks in an STF!!!! Catalyst is screwed… he’s in dead center ring…. He has no ropes to grab onto… he begins his fight towards the ropes… he… he makes it!!!! Spunk picks Catalyst up… POWERBOMB……1………2……..NO!!!! He says it’s over… he begins picking Catalyst up… OMG SCORCHING LEFT!!!! This can only mean one thing…. Catalyst spins behind… BIODYNAMIC BACK DROP!!!! HOLY F’N SHIT!!!! Catalyst crawls over……1………2……….NO!!!!!!! HOW IN DA HELL??? Catalyst begins picking Spunk up… Spunk charges forward and shoves Cat into the corner!!! How is he doing this??? He sets Cat up top… OMG… MUSCLE BUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cover……1……….2………..NO!!!!!!!!!! How are they kicking out of these moves???? The crowd is going nuts!!! Spunk calls for the FINEEEEEEEESH!!! He picks Cat up for the STD… NO!!! CAT WIGGLES FREE… He grabs Spunk…. BIODYNAMIC DROP!!!!!!!!!!!! How can one man take 2 of those…. Cat walks over… OMG ANKLE LOCK!!!! Spunk is nearly out cold…. Quest goes over to check if he is ok… he raises his arm…. SPUNK KEEPS IT UP!!! He crawls over to the ropes…. Cat drags him back…. Wait… SPUNK ROLLS THREW INTO A REVERSE KNEEL LOCK!!!!! Now Cat is the one is Hellish pain…. He tries crawling over to the ropes…. Spunk stands up… pulls him back… Stands up with Cats leg and shoots forward into an STF!!!! Cat cannot take much more…. He…. He…. HE GETS TO THE ROPES AGAIN!!!! How the hell??? Spunk knows it’s over this time… he picks Cat up for the STD…. Again he wiggles free!!! He shoves Spunk over into the corner stomach first!!! He sets him up top…. Not this again…. TOP ROPE BIODYNAMIC DROP!!!! NO!!! Spunk elbows Cat in the face a few times… he turns around on the top turbuckle… both men are standing face to face… elbows back and forth… SPUNK BLOCKS A CATALYST ELBOW…. He picks him up… TOP ROPE FUCKING STD!!!!!!!!!! Cover………1………..2………..3!!!!!
Winner by pin fall: SPUNK
Time: 28:14
Audience (King’s Road Style): 87%
[Fade]